How to Recognize an Emotional Hang-up and What to Do About It.
Photo by: VIKTOR HANACEK
Is She Available?
Women are known for being emotional creatures right? I mean, that might sound a little like a stereotype, but c’mon, you know it’s true! So when you are dating a woman who is emotionally unavailable, what are you supposed to do? How would you even know if she is shut off from you? Are there signs you can look for? What can you do about it if she is? Let me give you some thoughts on identifying the problem, and some steps you can take if you find yourself in this situation.
She is Already in a Relationship
She might still have feelings for another guy, but you should not limit the possibility to just a member of the opposite sex. Many times a gal can be emotionally involved with another girl, in a way that will keep her from being open to you. Women tend to feel things deeper than men. She may have a friend that is tying up all of her emotional energy. If so, you can either be patient and see what happens, or cut your losses and look elsewhere. It is possible that she doesn’t even realize her situation. It is also possible that she won’t appreciate you pointing it out!
She is Committed to her Career
Now, don’t get mad at me! Men can get over absorbed in their careers as well as women. The difference is that most men don’t have to work as hard to be accepted. Many women feel the pressure to succeed in their field, where a man does not. This pressure can drain a woman from her emotional availability. If you think you can woo her away from her passion by your good looks and charm, you are in for a rude awakening. Just as hard as she worked to get where she is, professionally, you’ll have to work twice as hard to get her personally.
She Avoids Conflict at All Cost
This isn’t a psychology post, so I won’t try to over-analyze here. However, it is true that solid, emotionally connected relationships will have conflict. Sometimes conflict is a testimony to the amount of trust that is in a relationship. If the girl you are going after is all too eager to please, and never seems to have an opinion of her own, then she may actually be less emotionally available than you think. For some reason, she fears conflict and is trying to please people to the detriment of her own happiness. Maybe you can get her to come out of that shell, and maybe not; but don’t just ignore it. People pleasers are generally not good “connectors” emotionally.
So can you do about it if your girlfriend is emotionally unavailable? Well for starters, you could talk to her about it. Let her know what you see and ask if there is any way you can help. You can be patient, and understanding. You can accept that this is your reality. You can also recognize your own need for emotional connectedness, and end the relationship and move on. It won’t be easy, but neither will be living in a one-sided relationship. It’s your choice.
What would you recommend? If you have been in a relationship like the one we are talking about, I would love for you to let me know your thoughts. What did you do? How did you determine what the problem was, and did you find a solution? Your feedback is very important to me, and the other readers. I look forward to hearing from you!
